Udurawana buys a Thermos

Thermos

Udurawana goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos."Udurawana then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."Udurawana says, "I'll take one!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. Udurawana's boss asks, "Wow, you have a Thermos. What do you have in it?" Udurawana replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

Registered Marriage at the POST OFFICE

Udurawana shouting at his girl friend " you said we will do a registered marriage but you cheated me, I was waiting for you yesterday at the POST OFFICE to get registered but you never turned up"

What are your qualifications?

Udurawana at an Interview:

Interviewer: What are your qualifications?
Udurawana : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : What do you mean by Ph.d?
Udurawana : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

Hearing Problems - Udurawana Jokes

Udurawana had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.

He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, `Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.`

Udurawana replied, `Oh, I haven`t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I`ve changed my will three times!`

Friend and Father - Udurawana Joke

Udurawana for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was not 'FRIEND' but 'FATHER' .
He replaced 'friend' with' father' in the essay and it read: I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS.SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR

Light at Night - Udurawana Joke

Udurawana's theory :

Moon is more important than the Sun, 'coz it gives light at night when light is needed
& Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

Single and Married - Udurawana Joke

Udurawana at a bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Udurawana says - "Ranjit Udurawana Married"