tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73997075241462285422024-02-19T22:43:18.212-08:00Jokes for youUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-28943911658922292872016-02-12T07:17:00.005-08:002016-02-12T07:17:59.384-08:00Filling an Employment Application<div class="MsoNormal">
Udurawana was filling up an application form for a job. He
filled out the columns titled Name, Age, Address etc,. When he came to the
column Salary Expected: after giving much thought he wrote: Yes<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-63699658852150852842016-02-12T07:05:00.003-08:002016-02-12T07:05:54.448-08:00How to Lose Weight<div class="MsoNormal">
The doctor told Udurawana to run eight kilometers a day for
300 days to lose weight.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
After 300 days, Udurawana called the doctor to report he had
lost the weight, but he had a problem; “I am 2400 km away from home”<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-48927703347271864632015-11-28T09:48:00.002-08:002015-11-28T09:48:19.154-08:00Double Decker Bus Ride in LondonUdurawana and a friend Siri went to London. They managed to get onto a double-decker bus. Siri somehow managed to find a seat downstairs ,But unfortunately Udurawana had to go to the top.
After a while when the rush was over, Siri went upstairs to see his friend Udurawana. Udurawana was in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands and saying his prayers, scared to death.He asks,"Udurawana! What the heck's going on? Why are you so scared?... I was really enjoying my ride down there?
Udurawana mumbles "Yeah, but you've got a driver."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-10627674067075254472015-11-28T09:41:00.001-08:002015-11-28T09:41:44.124-08:00Crocodile BootsUdurawana proposes to a woman. She says "yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots". He sets off to Africa and then disappears. Finally a search team found him hunting a huge crocodile. He walks over to the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims.
"65th damn crocodile and this bugger is also bare-feet!"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-41416748404948195302015-11-28T09:34:00.002-08:002015-11-28T09:34:44.733-08:00Real CostlyOne day an Englishman came to visit Udurawana at his ancestral home, which contained several magnificent pieces of antique furniture.
The Englishman was very impressed with a piece and commented:
"Very nice. This must be costly"
Quickly Udurawana corrected him, saying "No, No, mister. This is mahogany".
N.B. mahogany is a very valuable wood used to make expensive furniture. The English word 'costly' has similar pronunciation to Sinhala "Kos Lee", meaning a type of wood also used for making furniture, but not as expensive as mahogany.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-81102546804254654572013-11-15T17:03:00.004-08:002013-11-15T17:07:21.435-08:00Udurawana Joke - Donation<b>Donation: Udurawana's son : Dad there is someone at the door to collect donations for a swimming pool. </br>
Udurawana : Give him a glass of water. </b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-84221048899479557462013-05-04T23:04:00.000-07:002013-05-04T23:04:28.520-07:00Udurawana buys a Thermos<span style="background-color: white; color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><strong>Thermos</strong></span><br />
<br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><strong>Udurawana goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos."Udurawana then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."Udurawana says, "I'll take one!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. Udurawana's boss asks, "Wow, you have a Thermos. What do you have in it?" Udurawana replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."</strong></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-14442171815504483372013-04-27T21:50:00.000-07:002013-04-27T21:53:04.326-07:00Registered Marriage at the POST OFFICE<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #3d85c6;">Udurawana shouting at his girl friend " you said we will do a registered marriage but you cheated me, I was waiting for you yesterday at the POST OFFICE to get registered but you never turned up"</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-84706266497330283802013-04-27T21:42:00.002-07:002013-04-27T21:53:33.848-07:00What are your qualifications?<span style="font-family: Arial;">Udurawana at an Interview:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Interviewer: What are your qualifications?<br />Udurawana : Sir I am Ph.d.<br />Interviewar : What do you mean by Ph.d?<br />Udurawana : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-28378113558298346572012-09-08T21:14:00.001-07:002012-09-08T21:14:39.775-07:00Hearing Problems - Udurawana Jokes<span style="color: #660000; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Udurawana had serious hearing problems for a number of years. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, `Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.` </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Udurawana replied, `Oh, I haven`t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I`ve changed my will three times!` </span><br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-72310070713893231282012-09-08T21:07:00.000-07:002012-09-08T21:07:04.101-07:00Friend and Father - Udurawana Joke<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Udurawana for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was not 'FRIEND' but 'FATHER' . </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">He replaced 'friend' with' father' in the essay and it read: I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS.SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR</span></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-8301500287419363502012-09-08T21:02:00.002-07:002012-09-08T21:02:34.407-07:00Light at Night - Udurawana Joke<span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><strong>Udurawana's theory : </strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><strong>Moon is more important than the Sun, 'coz it gives light at night when light is needed <br />& Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!</strong></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-68076966015491736162012-09-08T20:58:00.002-07:002012-09-08T20:58:43.112-07:00Single and Married - Udurawana Joke<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Udurawana at a bar in New York.<br />Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"<br />Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"<br />Udurawana says - "Ranjit Udurawana Married"</strong></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-44250281064351275762011-06-03T21:32:00.000-07:002011-06-03T21:35:03.655-07:00Emergency<span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff9966;"><strong>The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up Udurawana on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told him it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file.</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff9966;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff9966;"><strong>After more than 30 minutes Udurawana appears all tired and panting for breath.</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff9966;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff9966;"><strong>The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff9966;"><strong>Udurawana replies, 'Boss when I went to the lift it said 'DURING AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE USE THE STAIRCASE'!!!</strong></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-88117683047700341142011-06-03T21:21:00.000-07:002011-06-03T21:23:31.834-07:00Password Problem<span style="font-size:130%;color:#336666;"><strong>Udurawana calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with his password.</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#336666;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#336666;"><strong>No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem. "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," he says. </strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#336666;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#336666;"><strong>"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains,"So if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password." </strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#336666;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;color:#336666;"><strong>"Yeah," he says, "But they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."</strong></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-15599231466939370422011-05-21T19:42:00.000-07:002011-09-02T18:48:01.467-07:00How To Reduce Population In India<span style="font-size:130%;">The teacher lecturing on population -In India, after every 10 seconds a woman gives birth to a kid.</span>
<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color:#996633;"><strong>Udurawana stands up</strong></span> - we must find & stop her!.</span>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-13928969995871904952011-05-21T19:39:00.000-07:002011-05-21T22:15:54.362-07:00Two red ears....<span style="font-size:130%;color:#006600;"><strong>Udurawana with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck to my ear." "Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. .. what happened to the other ear?" "The man called back again." </strong></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-61515202100952413172011-01-20T03:00:00.000-08:002011-05-16T04:27:19.454-07:00Udurawana's 4th child...<strong><span style="font-family:verdana;">Udurawana got his 4th child. He fills data on the birth certificate </span></strong><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="color:#3333ff;">Mother:</span> Sri Lankan.<br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Father:</span> Sri Lankan.<br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Kid:</span> Chinese.</span></strong><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:verdana;">"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sri Lankan?"</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Udurawana:</span> "Ahhh... I read in the newspaper, that the every 4th person born on Earth now is a Chinese."</span></strong>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-31778861561455257722011-01-20T02:34:00.000-08:002011-01-20T02:39:55.064-08:00Udurawana Joke<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA7AZnPblNkNj7J_CjAHjY_tRQdddaaRdGitsaXpGMAbL3fW4FBAXdAewn0inoOtz6IA3d8qHQH63cV8tdbrz-bvJPtuLoVhriPplCw7hNOqP3m6XoOsb1gwFzA30g5zl9eqF6krvGOC7_/s1600/laugh.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5564215702033262322" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 118px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 217px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA7AZnPblNkNj7J_CjAHjY_tRQdddaaRdGitsaXpGMAbL3fW4FBAXdAewn0inoOtz6IA3d8qHQH63cV8tdbrz-bvJPtuLoVhriPplCw7hNOqP3m6XoOsb1gwFzA30g5zl9eqF6krvGOC7_/s200/laugh.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#000099;">Udurawana</span> - why are all these people running? </span></strong></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#000099;">Man</span> - This is a race, the winner will get the cup </span></strong></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#000099;">Udurawana</span> - If only the winner will get the cup, why are the others running? </span></strong></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-91496534836438639922011-01-20T02:24:00.000-08:002011-01-20T02:26:18.969-08:00Foreigner - Udurawana Joke<strong><span style="font-size:130%;">After returning back from a foreign trip, Udurawana asked his wife, </span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Do I look like a foreigner? </span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color:#000099;">Wife:</span> No! Why? </span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color:#000099;">Udurawana:</span> In London a lady asked me "Are you a foreigner?" </span></strong>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-53857725592265537842011-01-09T06:33:00.000-08:002011-01-09T06:36:28.500-08:00New Mobile - Udurawana joke<span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;color:#330099;"><strong>Udurawana bought a new mobile.</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;color:#330099;"><strong>He sent a message to everyone on his Phone Book & said</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;color:#330099;"><strong>`My Mobile Number Has changed.</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#330099;"><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;"><strong>Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610</strong></span>`</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-80117739378354855402011-01-06T09:20:00.000-08:002011-01-06T09:22:28.093-08:00What problem? - Udurawana<b><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span">Udurawana ( to doctor </span>) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'<br /><span class="Apple-style-span">Doctor :</span> 'What's your problem?'<br /><span class="Apple-style-span">Udurawana :</span> 'I keep forgetting things.'<br /><span class="Apple-style-span">Doctor :</span> 'Since when do you have this problem?'<br /><span class="Apple-style-span">Udurawana :</span> 'What problem?' </span></b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-25059888663451490692011-01-06T09:04:00.000-08:002011-01-06T09:06:23.561-08:00Free Gift - Udurawana Joke<span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>Udurawana rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago.<br /><br />"Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper. "But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." The shopkeeper answered politely.<br /><br />"Don't fool me," replied udurawana, "it is clearly written on the packet of the butter 'Cholesterol free' but you gave me only butter". </b></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-2625980525406781542011-01-06T09:00:00.000-08:002011-01-06T09:02:07.067-08:00Udurawana in School<span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>How do you recognize Udurawana in School?<br />He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board. </b></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7399707524146228542.post-60471818332801337472011-01-03T06:53:00.000-08:002011-01-03T06:57:49.896-08:00Hidden Camera<span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Mrs.Udurawana caught Udurawana searching high and low all around his living room.</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><span style="color:#000099;">Mrs. Udurawana:</span> "What are you searching for?" </strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><span style="color:#000099;">Mr. Udurawana:</span> "Hidden cameras!"</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><span style="color:#000099;">Mrs. Udurawana:</span> "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><span style="color:#000099;">Mr. Udurawana:</span> "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching CNN. </strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>How does he know that?</strong></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0